영어수행평가 첨삭좀

1. People around the world are not very interested in pollution.

보통 pollution 이라고 하면 이미 환경에 대한거기 때문에 굳이 앞에 environment 까지 붙여 줄 필요는 없습니다.

그리고 many people who live in Earth 는 굉장히 어색한 표현입니다. People around the world를 추천드려요.

2. Especially, air pollution is a big problem (to --> for) Koreans.

People who live in Korea --> 를 굳이 길게 쓰시지마시고 그냥 간략하고 간단하게 Koreans 로 하셔도 무관하고 오히려 글이 더 깔끔해집니다.

3. The major reason for air pollution is microphobic dust.

미세먼지를 설명하려 하신 것 같은데 fine dust는 그냥 번역기상 미세먼지고 microphobic 이 조금더 미세/초미세 먼지에 정확한 표현이죠?

4. Microphobic dust is extremely tiny and can be harmful for people.

문법상 첨삭.

5. If we are exposed to fine dust for a long time, our lifespan will reduce.

Being exposed to such dust would inevitably be critical for our health. 가 훨씬더 원활한 표현입니다.

6. Fine dust can make you lose your immunity

--> Polluted air can compromise your immune system.

lose (없어진다) 가 아니라 compromise 또는 weaken (약해진다/저하된다) 가 더 어울립니다.

7. Then how would we protect our health from air pollution?

어색함 첨삭.

8. It is impossible to prevent fine dust entirely.

perfectly --> entirely

9. But, there are a few ways to relieve you from the impact.

부정확한 표현.

10. You should first try wearing masks that protect you from pollution.

자꾸 the 를 이상한 곳에 넣으시는데 필요 할때만 넣어 주시면 됩니다...

11. You should also drink a lot of water every day.

12. Those were just a few examples of how you can relieve yourself from air pollution.

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이 정도로 써주시면 미국인입니다 ㅎㅎ

도움 되셨으면 해요! ^^