영어수행 글쓰기 쓴 거 확인해주세요 ㅠㅠ 급해요!!

영어수행 글쓰기 쓴 거 확인해주세요 ㅠㅠ 급해요!!

비공개 조회수 7 작성일4시간 전

조건이 <1. 주격 관계대명사 2. 목적격 관계대명사 3. 의문사 +to부정사 구문 4. 조건을 나타내는 if절> 이 네가지를 꼭 포함해야해요..! 일단 글 써봤는데 조건 다 맞는지, 문법오류 없는지 확인해주시고 고쳐주세요!! 꼭 부탁합니당 ㅠㅡㅠ

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Hello, my name is nayeon lee and I am a second year student attending somang Middle School. Today I would like to introduce my travel plans. I will travel to Gyeongju with my family in June. The reason I chose Gyeongju as my travel destination was because I wanted to visit Gyeongju World, which is famous on the Internet. Now, let’s talk about what to do in Gyeongju. First, I will go to Gyeongju World, the place I wanted to go the most. We will go there and ride Draken, Gyeongju World’s representative roller coaster. And after riding several rides, we will go to the hotel and go swimming. When I'm done swimming, I'll go to my hotel room to sleep and return home the next day. If I have some time left before returning home, I would like to buy a souvenir. I can’t wait to go to Gyeongju! Thank you for looking at my travel plans so far.

Hello, my name is Na-Yon Lee and I am a second year student attending Somang Middle School. Today I would like to introduce my travel plans briefly to you. I will make a trip to Kyongjoo area with my family in June. The reason why I chose Kyongjoo area as my travel destination was that I had long wanted to visit Kyongjoo World, which is famous on the Internet. Now, let me talk about what to do in Kyongjoo area. First, I will go to Kyongjoo World, which I had long wanted to visit the most. We will go there and enjoy riding Draken, i.e., its representative roller coaster. After riding several rides, we will go to the hotel and go swimming. After swimming, I'll go to my hotel room to sleep and return home the next day. If I had more time left before returning home, I would have wanted to buy a souvenir. I can’t wait to go to Kyongjoo! That's it. Thank you for your careful attention.